Detention with the Cullens
by oxoxTwilightloverxoxo
Summary: Emmett,Edward,Rosalie, Bella, Alice and Jasper all get detention together. Emmett being FUNNY. Alice losing her power? Edward going crazy. Bella the amatuer prankster. Rosalie losing her beauty. Jasper going EMO! FUNNYNESS ENSURED!OOCness
1. Edward, Bella & Emmett

I walked into Spanish class. I had this class with Emmett and Edward. I didn't really mind Rosalie wasn't in most of my classes, as me and Rosalie still hadn't bonded yet, we would acknowledge each others presence, but wouldn't really start a conversation.

I made my way to the back and sat in my seat. I looked to my right, and jumped in surprise, it wasn't Edward, as it was usually, it was big old Emmett.

"Emmett, what are you doing here?" I asked, Emmett stared at me,

"Well, I thought we should get to know each other…" He said,

"What, you want to get to know me in a Spanish lesson?"

"Yes" He replied,

"So, last night when you were on the Xbox, we couldn't bond then, could we? But when I have a life, and education, it's now is a good time," I said, Emmett nodded, I sighed,

"Well, I was busy," he answered,

"Doing what!" I screeched, everyone in the class looked at me, Emmett made them turn away, by glaring at them.

"Yes, I had more important things to do,"

"So killing teenage mutants is more important than spending time with me?"

"Yes." I turned away, I saw Edward enter, he glared at Emmett,

"What the hell are you doing in my seat? You have infested it now!" Edward whined, Emmett stuck his tongue out. Edward approached Emmett and yanked his t shirt,

"STOP TOUCHING ME, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE EDWARD, YOU HAVE YOUR OWN!!!!" Emmett said. Everyone swivelled **[A/N Spelt right!]** their heads in their direction; I sunk my head into my hands, my face blushing deep red. I heard many whispers.

"Edward just touched Emmett's thing…" Someone said.

"Poor Bella,"

"Edward probably hasn't got one," I recognized that critical voice, it was Mike,

The teacher then entered, Edward hit Emmett, Mr Peterson looked at Edward,

"Mr Edward Cullen! Detention, how DARE you slap another student and your own BROTHER!" He screeched,

"I didn't hit him… I just high fived his face," Edward said lamely, the teacher glared at him. "Now sit down please,"

"But sir, Em-" He started, Mr Peterson interrupted him,

"MR CULLEN SIT DOWN!!!" Mr Peterson shouted. Edward sunk into Emmett's normal seat. Emmett began to laugh.

"So, Bella, let's bond, what's your favourite colour?" Mr Peterson heard us mumbling,

"Mr Cullen, Ms Swan, Be quiet, I am trying to teach!" He screamed,

"Teach what?" Emmett mumbled, this caused me to laugh. With one final glare Mr Peterson faced the rest of the class.

"It's purple, Em"

"Oh nice, mine is blue, so how is you and Edwards sex life?" I looked at him astonished,

"That's all you wanted to know isn't it?!" I whisper yelled, **[A/N: To the flamer RamenLover. It is a word! We were taught in English]** Emmett grinned and nodded,

MS SWAN, MR CULLEN!" Emmett glared at Mr Peterson,

"MR PETERSON, I AM TRYING TO ASK BELLA ABOUT HER AND EDWARD'S SEX LIFE!" Emmett shouted,

"Non-existent," I mumbled, Emmett grinned. Mr Peterson flushed red, not nearly as red as me.

"MS SWAN, MR CULLEN DETENTION!" He shouted,

**SO… SO FAR EMMETT, EDWARD AND BELLA ARE ALL IN DETENTION,**

**NEXT CHAPTER:**

**ALICE, ROSALIE AND JASPER GET DETENTION,**

**I THINK THIS STORY WILL BE 4 CHAPTERS, WHAT DO YOU THINK**

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	2. Rosalie, Alice & Jasper

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT STEPHENIE MEYER DOES! ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO HER!**

**Chapter 2**

**APOV**

Me, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were all in Biology, I sat down in my seat next to Rosalie. Something hit my head it was a note I opened and read it:

**Wat's up dawg?**

**Reply BEOTCH**

**Emmister **

I turned my head to see it was from Emmett, I turned over the note and wrote back:

**Emmister…?! **

**What the hell, did you **

**Pick that out of a hat or**

**Something!**

**And I may be a beotch.**

**Just not yours ;) Got it!**

**A x**

I quickly folded into a paper aeroplane and flew it back to him. He opened it and read it, he started squiblling the reply, and flew it back, I surprise the teacher hadn't seen yet,

**It might have been,**

**And fine your Jasper then**

**But you are missing out ;)**

**Emmister **

I decided not to reply, I saw Emmett writing another note, he threw it over, it landed on my lap, I opened and read it, Emmett shook his head:

**Hey Babes**

**I don't think I could**

**Wait till tonight, should we just leg it**

**To the janitoers closet**

**BunnyBoi x**

I quickly shut it and handed it to Rosalie, now knowing it was meant for her, "Bunnyboy?" I whispered, she shook her head,

"He wanted to be called it," She answered. I nodded, Rosalie quickly wrote a reply and threw it back at Emmett, the teacher saw,

"Excuse me, what are you doing Miss Cullen?" He scolded,

"Mrs," Emmett murmmered, Rose started to giggle, bad move,  
"DO YOU FIND THIS FUNNY?!" Rosalie vigorously shook her head, "Pass me the note," Rosalie hesitantly. The teacher didn't bother reading, he thrust it into Mike's hand, "Read it," Mike stood up,

"Hey Babes I don't think I could wait till tonight should we just leg it to the janitors closet? Me neither maybe we should, I mean this teacher is blind and boring." Mike finished,

"Mr Cullen, Miss Hale DETENTION!" Emmett shook his head,

"How do you know I wrote it?!" He debated, the teacher looked at him,

"Because you are her boyfriend," Emmett played innocence,

"Rose, you are cheating on me," He looked down, to hide his smile,

"MISS HALE DETENNTION!" Rosalie glared at Emmett,

_*VISION_

_Emmett begging Rosalie, they then go to the bedroom (censored) _

_VISION ENDED*_

"OH MY GOD THAT IS GROSS WHAT THE HELL?!" I screamed, everyone looked at me,

"Excuse me Miss Cullen there is nothing wrong with the menstrual cycle," I shook my head,

"NOT THAT EMMETT AND ROSALIE MAKING OUT!!! Everyone turned to Emmett and Rosalie they were not doing anything,

"Miss Cullen I believe you are imagining it" I heard many whispers like,

"oooh she imagines her brothers and sister's making out what a weirdo!" I scowled,

"I AM NOT WEIRD!!!" The teacher glared at me,

"Miss Cullen, DETETION!" I huffed and sat in my seat. So me, Rosalie were both in detention and I think Edward, Bella and Emmett were, I should make it a full house, I waited for a bit,

"URGH JASPER SOP POKING ME!!!" I screeched. We had moved places. Everyone looked at Jasper. His hands were blantantly in the air.

"Miss Cullen his hands are in the air, what are you talking about," I reached down,

"Well it is long, hard and thin so OOOOHHHH my bad," I trailed off. Jasper was feeling embarrassed, I heard whispers,

"Jasper got a boner, OMG"

"I HAVE NOT GOT A BONER!!!!!" Jasper shouted defensively.

"MR HALE DETENTION!"

"Why!" Jasper whined

"No questions, now put it away…"

**HOW YOU LIKE? I USED SOME IDEAS ABOUT THE WHOLE ALICE VISION THING!!!! LOL**

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	3. Mike Newton

**DISLCAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT!!!**

"_MR HALE DETENTION!"_

"_Why!" Jasper whined_

"_No questions, now put it away…"_

**Chapter 3 **

EPOV

It was last period of the day. Everyone was still talking about all our family, and how we were all in detention. I was sitting next to my angel. We were in Biology, I was so glad I got to sit next to her, also none of my so called family was in this class. Bella was resting her head in her palm, her elbow on the desk. Mr Banner was talking about random stuff. I never paid attention to class since my Bella came along. I was fixed on her beautiful face. Her eyes were deep chocolate pools of beauty, her lips were tainted red, her face was a face of a heart. She was the description of beauty.

"Mr Cullen what is the answer?" Mr Banner asked. I read his mind, he was chanting the answer in his head,

_He will never get this, Propane Propane _

"Propane" I answered calmly.

_What the hell…I had to look up on the internet for that!_

I smiled widely, Bella looked at me and face contorted into a breathtaking smile. I smirked back. She looked down blushing, the lesson continued, I turned to face bella, forcing her to look into my eyes, I looked at her chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't believe she was mine,

"Miss Swan, answer please?"

_Methane Methane Methane _He chanted in his head

"Methane," I whispered quickly to her, hardly moving my lips,

"Um—Methane" She said unsurely, Mr Banner nodded, and after giving me a suspicious glare looked away.

The bell soon rang, everyone filed out, Me and Bella stayed behind. Mike started hovering in the doorway, he entered.

_Come on, Mike you can do it, You are a man. Mum said so… _**Mike**

He started approaching Bella. I balled my hands into fist. Bella kissed my palm quickly. I immediately relaxed,

"Hey, Bella I have been looking for you, for ages," Bella looked at him,

"Mike, we had biology last period, you were infront of me…" I trailed off.

"Oh really, I didn't notice!" He said innocently. Bella bent down and picked up a handful of notes,

"So these, just randomly came to me?" She said, meaning the thousands of notes he had thrown at her. Mike let out a nervous laugh.

"Yeah…" Bella nodded,

"Oh and they randomly said my name and wrote your hair is like chocolate etc…"

"I can explain! You know what. I can't. Anyway, do you want to go out tonight?" He asked. He just won't give up,

"Sorry, Mike, I have a detention." Bella said faking sadness,

"When does it end?" He asked forcefully,

"8" Bella lied,

"Oh okay, bye, you know I am starting to think you don't like me" Mike muttered,

"No, Mike we are best buds," Mike lightened up, He came forward and hugged Bella. Bella scowled at Mike.

"MIKE GET OFF ME" She screamed. Mike quickly ran out the room, after seeing my face. Me and Bella sat at the back, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice walked in and sat down. Mr Banner sat behind his desk.

"Where is Mr Cullen?" He asked. I shrugged, Emmett then came running in puffing dramatically,

"Sorry I am late, I had better things to do," He said coolly, Mr Banner narrowed his eyes,

"What was that?" Mr Banner asked,

"None of your beeswax, Pedofile!" Emmett screamed. We all burst out laughing, Emmett made his was to the back of the class.

About 5 minutes into it, we were all getting bored. Mike's head appeared in the doorway, he poked his head through, not seeing Mr Banner,

"Hey Bella, I m here to bust you out, come to me," Mike stepped in looking heroic. I started laughing, Mike turned around and saw Mr Banner.

_Aww Crap _

"MR NEWTON DETENTION!!!"

**HOW YOU LIKE. IT WAS PRETTY CRAP. LOL REVIEW. I GURANTEE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE HILARIOUS! I HAVE DECIDED TO ONE CHAPTER ON EACH PERSON, SO JASPER TURNING EMO WILL BE NEXT! REIVEW**


	4. Jasper Emo!

**DISLCAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**NO OFFENCE TO EMOS!!!!!!!!!!**

JasperPOV

It was silent for the first 5 minutes, everyone soon got bored. I felt this worst, I had my own boredom, plus everyone elses. The boredom was beginning to get unbearable,

"GUYS, CAN YOU PLEASE STOP FEELING BORED!" I screamed. Everyone turned their head to look at me,

"What, can you feel emotions now?!" Mike said sarcastically. I nodded,

"Yes, I can," Mike laughed really loud, everyone soon joined in. I stared at them,

"Guys, it wouldn't hurt if you could be nice once in a while!" I whined, Emmett shook his head,

"It would be, EmoBoy," He said jokingly. I scowled at him, he knew I hated it when people called me Emo. Bella started laughing, I silenced her,

"Shut up, or I will suck your blood dry!" I snarled, she flinched back. Anger filled me, I knew this was Edward's anger. He took a protective stance in front of Bella, I put my hands up to show I was not going to do any harm. He nodded and stood straight. Mike gave us a weird look,

"Private joke," I said laughing quietly, he nodded,

"You know, I will never understand your sense of humour," He said to us, I shrugged,

"It's too complicated" I said smugly. I sighed and got up and walked to a corner,

"Mr Hale, where are you going?" Mr Banner shouted, I looked at him,

"To Africa, no I am going to a corner!" I snapped. Mr Banner began to give me the evil eyes,

"Sit down please, whilst I am in here you will abide by my rules!" He exclaimed. I smirked,

"Well literally speaking I am 300 years and you are what, only 70? SO therefore I am incharge," I snapped and began sitting in the corner, Mike jumped up,

"Well I am 500 years old," He whined, "Shouldn't I be in charge!" I shook my head,

"No, Mike to be in charge you have to have a mental age of 5…at least." Mike shrugged and sat down. I put my head between my knees, I was beginning to feel sick, of all the emotions.

"Mr Hale?!" Mr Banner asked. I looked up,

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, SHOULDN'T YOU BE WITH MRS SPAGETTI HOOPS?!" I shouted. Mr Banner looked up at the clock.

"Oh sugar," He came up to me, "Her name is Telulah!" He declared, he began to bend down and kissed my cheek, I stared at him in shock. He smiled and skipped off.

Everyone started laughing, I scowled at them. I got up and ran into Mr Banner's cupboard and put my head in a bucket of liquid, I didn't seem to look at what the liquid was, I then found out it was black dye. My hair had turned jet black. Great. I walked out, looking down.

"YOU GUY'S SAY ONE WORD. AND I WILL KILL YOU! IN A SLOOOW AND PAINFUL WAY." I stated. It wasn't till I had said that outburst that everyone looked at me, and started laughing.

"STAGE ONE TURNING EMO. CHECK!" Emmett shouted. I ran and pounced on him, ready to slit his throat. Unfortuantely he tactfully ran and hid. I groaned.

**EPOV**

Jasper had been missing for 5 minutes now, Mike looked at me worriedly,

_Just because I can beat his ass doesn't mean he has to go sulk! _**Emmett **

_Where the hell is Jasper _**Rosalie**

_I wonder if he has gone to slit his wrist _**Mike**

_I hope he hasn't gone to hunt down my black eye shadow _**Alice**

**[A/N: Apology for Emo's I know I am being rather stereotypical! SORRY]**

Jasper then appeared at the door. He had paper and scissors. Oh god

_Oh Em Gee! He is going to cut himself _**Mike**

_What the hell is he doing? _**Rosalie**

_He thinks paper will cut him?!_ _He may be weak, but not THAT weak _**Emmett**

_I am going to do it! _**Jasper**

I ran up to him and stopped him,

"Jasper, what are you doing?" I questioned, Mike nodded,

"Yeah. You have family!" Mike whined. Jasper shook his head. I then realised the black hair dye had run and his face had black streaks.

_What the fudge? _**Jasper**

"What are you talking about? I am just making a mother's day card for Esme" He said

"Jasper…not to dampen your mood or anything but mother's day was last month…" Alice said smoothily. Jasper counted on his fingers,

"Aww snap. That's a shame." He said,

"It is isn't it," Mike agreed. Jasper glared at Mike,

"SHUT UP NEWTON!!! AND ANYWAY IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE COUNT THE DAYS ON A PIECE OF PAPER OR SOMETHING!" I argued. Everyone shook their heads,

"Jasper, they invented a calendar." Emmett said,

"DON'T CONTRADICT ME!" Jasper screamed. What the… Emmett looked at him confused,

"I don't know what that is but, I don't think I am doing anything with your dick…" I sighed. Emmett is so stupid.

"Fine I will now cut myself, watch me!" Jasper started bringing the scissors closer to his wrist. Bella sprinted off to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Jazz square, please don't hurt yourself." She begged. He nodded,

"Okay Bellsie Booboo." He cooed back. What the hell, did they have this code language now?!

_What so Bella likes Jasper because he is cutting himself _**Mike**

_My title for favourite brother is slipping _**Emmett**

Mike snatched the scissors off of Jasper and began cutting himself.

"Bella, look I am cutting my self!" He screamed. Everythin happened at once.

MikePOV

I saw black. This was how I would die

**SHOULD MIKE NEWTON DIE????? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW**

**HE DIES**

**HE GETS TURNED INTO A VAMP**

**HIS BLOOD TASTE TO BAD TO BE TEMPTED AND HE SURVIVES**

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	5. Mike Dead!

**DISLCAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**NEVER HAVE**

**NEVER WILL**

**ALL BELONGS TO **

**Chapter 5**

**MPOV**

Blood was seeping through my clothes, and dropping down my arm. It had turned red, blood was falling fast. If I didn't get to the hospital soon, I could die. That was the severity of it.

**EPOV**

Mike is such a wuss. He had slumped onto the wall. He was slipping conciousness. His eyes soon closed. **[A/N Mike's DEAD!] **

_What the hell?! _**Jasper**

_Surely he hasn't died? _**Emmett**

_He cut himself. Why. _**Alice**

His heart beat was slowing down.

"Guys, he needs to go to a hospital…" Bella shouted. We all shrugged. Emmett walked up to him and started bending down. I reflectively went infront of Emmett shielding Mike.

_Eddie's gay! _**Alice**

_Defending your boyfriend. Edwardo? _**Rosalie**

"What are you doing?!" Emmett questioned. I shrugged,

"I know Mike is a worthless, measly, idiotic, stupid, gay, annoying, irritating--" I began. Emmett interrupted me,

"Back on task Edward," I shook my head,

"Oh yeah so Mike may be a waste of a human, but I mean. His life isn't really worth living. But don't suck his blood. Because trust me, if I could, I would." I said. Emmett looked at me puzzled. "Actually, you know what, screw Carlisle's rules let's suck his blood!" I shouted. Everyone looked shocked at me

"I'm not going to suck his blood. Have you smelt it?! I mean talk about horrible!!" He said. I laughed a bit, and stepped out the way. Emmett walked up to Mike.

*SLAP*

He made sure to slap him at human strength. Mike stirred.

"uuurrrrgghhh" He moaned. He finally woke up.

**[A/N: Sorry Mike Haters] ** He turned and looked into MY bella's eyes.

"Am I in heaven?" Mike said groaning. I glared at Mike. Emmett glared at Mike.

"No, but you could end up in hell if you don't stop staring at my little sister!" He growled.

_No one looks at Bella like that! Apart from Eddie _**Emmett**

"S-s-sorry, I didn't mean to…" Mike apologised. I saw Emmett quickly put his knife in his pocket.

_Good, no need to use this…_** Emmett**

"W-what happened then?" Mike stammered. Water splashed over his face. Emmett had thrown over him, water was dripping down his hair.

"WHAT THE HELL EMMETT?! I AM ALREADY WAKEN UP!" Mike shouted. Emmett smiled,

"I know, it just felt so pleasurable." Emmett said with a large grin. Mike scowled. Emmett just laughed.

"So what happened?" Emmett walked up to him. Mike began scrambling away.

"WHAT HAPPENED?! YOU NEARLY DIED… FROM A PAPERCUT?!" Emmett shouted.

"Really? It seemed a lot of blood." He said. We shook our heads.

"There was only one drop…" Alice said. Mike looked at us.

"Nothing, said in this room needs to repeated when we leave," He said sternly.

"Well, I could slip…" Emmett said. Mike narrowed his eyes.

"It slips. I will kill you…!" Mike threatened,  
"Oh, I am soooo scared. I hope you don't IRRITATE me to death." Emmett joked.

"it has been done." Mike pointed out. Mr Banner walked in.

"EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!!" He shouted. No one moved and ignored him.

"EXCUSE ME GUYS?! WHAT IS HAPPENING!" He shouted.

"AS YOU CAN PROBABLY NOT SEE, WE ARE TELLING MIKE HOW MUCH A WUSS HE IS!" Emmett shouted back. Mr Banner looked at Emmett amazed

_Is he shouting back at me _**Mr Banner**

_God. He never shuts up! _**Emmett**

"Excuse me, Mike Newton should not be called a wuss!" Mr Banner defended.

"HE NEARLY DIED FROM A PAPERCUT!!" Alice shouted. Mr Banner looked at Mike.

"Ohh Em Gee! Mike you wuss! I need to put this on my Facebook!" Mr Banner said. He began running. Emmett ran out the door.

"What's your facebook address?! I need more friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He started shouting in the hallway.

He soon came back, pouting. "He didn't want to give it to me," He said sadly

_**30 MINUTES LATER…**_

**BPOV**

I was soo bored. Emmett came up to me,

"Emmett, you have to stay in your seat." I said. He looked at me.

"Technically, I am," He said as he pointed to his chair, that he was still sitting on. I giggled.

"Bella, I'm boreed" He whined.

"Me too! Join the club" I replied in a bored voice. Emmett looked at me smiling.

"I have never been in a club! OMG what is it called?! Is there badges?!" He squealed. I shook my head.

"No, you idiot! Can we do something?" I asked. Emmett thought for a moment. He then nodded.

"I know. Let's PRANK PEOPLE!" He shouted out. Everyone turned to look at us.

"Emmett you idiot. NO EMMETT THAT'S STUPID IDEA!" I said, raising my voice so everyone could hear. Emmett looked at me astonished.

"Fine," He said. His bottom lip trembling.

"No, it's a good idea. But don't shout it out." I whispered, hurriedly. He nodded,

"Let's start planning!" He whisper shouted.

**REVIEW REVIEW SORRY MIKE DIDN'T DIE!!!! I MEAN HIS STUPIDITY WILL MAKE THIS STORY SO YEAH. REVIEW REVIEW 15 REVIEWS :)**

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	6. BELLMETT Prank Team

**DISLCAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**NEVER HAVE**

**NEVER WILL**

**ALL BELONGS TO Stephenie Meyer**

**Chapter 6**

**BPOV**

Emmett edged closer to me,

"So what shall we do first?" He asked. I thought for a minute.

"Well, first I think we should go draw on Mike. He is sleeping." I said pointing to a sleeping Mike.

"THAT IS A BRILLIANT IDEA!" Emmett shouted.

"sshhh, could you be any louder?!" I said sarcastically being Emmett, thought it a challenge.

"I REALLY COULD," He said louder. I shook my head. Everyone was looking at us. Mike thankfully was still soundlessly asleep.

"Guys, I hope you are not planning to prank anyone!" Edward said, narrowing his eyes. I smirked,

"No, dear brother," Edward scoffed.

"Emmett, don't!" He said seeing through our disguise.

"We are pranking Mike." Emmett whined. Edward seemingly brightened up.

"I heard Mike in that sentence. SO I'm cool with that." He said laughing. Me and Emmett nodded and approached Mike. His posture was slumped. Emmett reached to get my sharpie pen and started writing on him. On his forehead he wrote:

**I LOVE MEN**

On his cheek hethen wrote

**GAY IN DENIAL!  
**

He then handed over the pen to me. I then lifted up his shirt and wrote

**ONLY BEEN SEEN BY MY MUM AND MR BANNER**

I then drew an arrow pointing to his lower area. I laughed while writing this. Edward approached us,

"Can I have a go?" He asked.

"Ye--" I began. I was interrupted by Emmett,

"HAVE YOU SIGNED UP TO BE PART OF THE BELLMETT PRANK GROUP?!" he asked rhetorically. "I THOUGHT NOT," He shouted. Edward stood his ground.

"So the answer is…" He hinted.

"NO," He said firmly, growling slightly. This woke Mike up,

"W-what's going on, why is there growling?" He asked. Emmett looked at me.

"Well a wolf just stormed in." I said. Everyone looked at Mike and laughed.

"What's so funny?" He said feeling self conscious.

"N-nothing," I panted. He looked down embarrassed. I walked over to Emmett.

"What's next," He started whispering what would be next. I nodded and agreed. We both sat at the back of the classroom. Simultaneously farting noises were heard. Me and Emmett went into full blown laughter.

"Wow guys, you just couldn't hold it in could you?" I said innocently. Everyone scowled at me. Mike started unnexpectantly laughing.

"ahahah Bella you are so funny! This idea was brilliant. You are amazing." He praised. I raised an eyebrow at him,

"Uhh thanks Mike," I said unsurely. Edward gave him a death glare.

"Don't think this means you get a free ticket to panty ville!"He warned.

"Aww…" He whined. He saw my face. "I mean, I know. Friends is all we will ever be." He said. I could see he was mentally plotting something.

**MikePOV**

Process Kill Edward. In action.

**BPOV**

We then got our makeshift catapults out and randomly fired. Edward was the only one to notice,  
"Please tell me you did not throw paper in my hair," He growled.

"We did not throw paper in your hair," I said innocently. He smirked, gritting his teeth,

"BUT YOU DID!" He argued.

"BUT YOU SAID. TELL ME YOU DIDN'T!" I argued back. Edward sighed and turned around again. I high fived Emmett. It was his go now! He fired it at Rosalie's hair. She immediately turned around.

"I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST THROW PAPER IN MY HAIR!" She shouted. Emmett looked scared.

"Rosie poopsie," He said quietly. Mike laughed.

"I bet that's her bed name!" He said laughing to himself. I scowled at him.  
"Well at least she has one!" I said defensively. Mike scoffed,

"I have one too!" He whined, everyone laughed.

"Who gave it to you, your mum?!" I joked, Mike looked down, "SHE DID?!" Mike shook his head.

"No, I just find this patch of ground interesting." He was just digging the hole deeper,

"MIKE THAT IS SO SICK! WELL NOT LIKE ANYONE EVER GOING TO USE IT! THE CLOSES YOU EVER GOT TO A SHAG IS PROBABLY SPIN THE BOTTLE KISSES!" Emmett shouted.

"oooh, you just got rinsed," Jasper whispered. Rosalie looked at Emmett.

"BACK TO MY CRISIS. IF I FIND ONE LITTLE BIT OF PAPER IN MY HAIR. YOUR DEAD!" She threatened. She searched her hair. She took it out with paper in her hand. Fiddle sticks!

"RUN EMMETT!" I warned. He was glued to the spot.

"Emmiebear since I love you I will give you 5 SECONDS!" She growled.

"5…4…3…AWW SCREW IT. I'M FREAKING COMING!!!!!" She shouted, and started manically chasing after Emmett. She was steps away when Alice let out a shocking scream.

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**NEXT TIME… **

"_My vision has been impaired!" Alice whined, falling to her knees.__ "I AM BLINDED FOR LIFE AND I GET NO. OH MY GOD SORRY ALICE, OR ANYHING?! THESE ARE MY LAST FEW GLANCES OF THE WORLD!"_

"_And yet this should be a happy time for us…" Emmett trailed off_

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	7. Alice losing her power!

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT**

**Chapter 7**

_Recap: __"Emmiebear since I love you I will give you 5 SECONDS!" She growled._

"_5…4…3…AWW SCREW IT. I'M FREAKING COMING!!!!!" She shouted, and started manically chasing after Emmett. She was steps away when Alice let out a shocking scream._

**B****POV**

Everyone turned to look at Alice, everyone crowded around her. Mike had fallen asleep. I walked to him and slapped him, He stirred,

"What the hell, Bella?! I mean what is it darling" Edward growled.

"Wake up, dickhead, Alice is in a crisis," I shouted, He shrugged and went back to sleep,

"Such a retard," I whispered walking away. I surrounded Alice, Emmett looked at me,

"Bella, haven't you woken up Mike? We need as many people as possible." He commanded, I walked over to Mike.

"It is such a shame Mike is going to miss me topless!" I said, Mike immediately opened his eyes,

"OOohh where?! WHERE ARE THEM TITIES?!" He screamed. Everyone burst out laughing. Mike blushed vibrant red.

**EPOV**

"HELLOOO back to my crisis!" Alice shouted, everyone was around her in a second.

"What's wong," I asked her, she shook her head,

"I am too traumatized to say," She looked shaken,

"Alice please tell us we want to help!" Emmett begged.

"MY VISION HAS BEEN IMPAIRED!" She shrieked.

"What?!" Emmett said confused,

" MY SIGHT IS GOING, I AM BLIND!" She shrieked **[A/N it has changed from the next time on chap 6]**

"OH EM GEE, are you alright?!" Mike said, shocked, Alice placed her hand on her unbeating heart,

"Physically, I am strong, Mentally, I am breaking!" She said dramatically.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Mike asked, as he held up 2 fingers,  
"2," Everyone looked astounded,

"Alice, what the hell, that's right," Mike said,

"OF COURSE IT'S RIGHT, IT'S NOT MY PHYSICAL SIGHT! IT'S MY MENTAL POWERRRRR," Everyone apart from Mike understood.

"You can't see the future anymore?" Bella questioned. She shook her head,

"You used to be able to see the future. YOU FREAK" Mike shouted. Alice silenced him with a glare.

"Your one to talk, stalker. Now, following your question No, it's fuzzy." Mike opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out.

"Welcome to my world Alice, powerless," Rosalie said bitterly, Alice scowled.

"I AM LOOSING MY SIGHT, AND I GET NO, OMG ALICE, WE WILL HELP YOU! OR ANYTHING, SOME FAMILY YOU ARE," Alice shouted, Mike put his hand in the air.

"Alice--"

"Me and Bella aren't your family…" He amended,

_Aww Crap I shouldn't of said that! _**Mike**

_Why did he say that?! _

"MIKE FRICKING NEWTON, does it look like I care you aren't my family?!" She shouted Mike backed away.

"I don't know, you are so hard to re--" He started,

"THE ANSWER IS NO MIKE!" Alice shouted.

_I am so stupid! The answer is always NO! _**Mike**

"Yes Mike you are stupid!" I said. He looked at me,

_How the hell did he know what I was thinking? _**Mike**

_Stop messing with him Eddie _**Emmett**

"Mike, didn't we tell you, the Cullen family are the Fantastic 5…plus 2…" Emmett joked.

"Really," He said in awe.

"ONE SURPRISE AT A TIME PEOPLE." Alice shouted "My vision has been compromised!"

"We know Alice! And we chose to ignore that! But obviously you won't let us!" I debated. Alice sighed and walked off.

"Do you think she will come back?" Jasper asked,

"As much as I hate to say, I think she will,"

5 MINUTES LATER…

Alice came in and sank on the floor, humming to herself. Mike walked over.

"Are you okay, Alice," She looked up and glared daggers at him.

"DO I INTERRUPT YOUU WHEN YOU HUMM?! I THOUGHT NOT! SO BACK OFF!" She shouted at him,

"Wow, Alice you are rather stressy," Alice pounced and ripped his tshirt, holes and gnashes covered his body. Mike walked over to us.

"She isn't in a very good mood." He said

"You think," Emmett said sarcastically. Alice got up and left again.

10MINUTES LATER….

Alice entered again, with black sunglasses and a jewelled stick. She maniacally started waving it around.

*WHACK*

Mike fell to the ground,

"Owww,owww" He whimpered,

"Alice, what the hell?! You just knocked out Mike," Rosalie said.

"Really? Ahh I was aiming for Emmett, 1 out of 2" She said as she started swinging it around the air. I went and grabbed the stick,

"Alice, stop it, you are not blind!" I said firmly. "You are blinded, mentally," I said,

"Or by love" Jasper said, Alice shook her head,

"No, Jasper hunny, and anyway CAN YOU GUYS FEEL MY PAIN?! I THOUGHT NOT!" She shouted.

_Well technically I can! _**Jasper**

"Wait, WHO THE HELL NICKED MY STICK?!" She shouted

_Who the f**k nicked my stick! _**Alice**

I hid it behind my back,

"Come on guys, I won't kill you…" She said, I threw the stick to Emmett,

"EMMETT HAS IT," Alice growled.

_What the hell Edward ?! We are brothers!!!!! _**Emmett**

_Good one Edwardo _**Rosalie**

"I WILL KILL YOU EMMETT!!" She shouted, and began running after him. Emmett ran around the room.

"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T KILL THE PERSON!" He shouted desperately. Alice didn't slow down.

"I LIED" Emmett squealed and ran, like hell. The door opened.

"EXCUSE ME! MR CULLEN, MS CULLEN?!" It was Mr Banner. Crap. They immediately came to a stop.

"Yes Mr banner?" Emmett said sweetly

"I was here to tell you it's over, but I am now extending it for another 2 hours!" he shouted. I heard a female voice in the background.

TWO?! WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU! MAKE IT 4!" She shouted.

"I mean 4," Mr Banner amended, he looked worried,

"Whatever, go back to having sex with that girl and let me kill my brother!" Alice shouted.

"As a matter of fact, we have a 10 minute break, I'll have you know! And Mike, put on some suitable clothing. You can find shirts in my lost property bucket under my desk." With that he walked out the door muttering,

"high stamina woman," I laughed. Mike walked up and looked through the bucket in his mind I saw what he saw

_Thong: Man Bella in this mmmm _

"Hurry up Mike!" I growled. He jumped and picked up the first thing he had a hold of.

"I will wear this" Everyone laughed. He looked down, he had picked out a bright pink thong. He blushed.

"I mean this," He said embarrassed. We all laughed more, he had picked another thong. He looked at it.

"FOR GODS SAKE HOW MANY WHORES IN THIS SCHOOL!" He got up and walked over to his desk.

"Emmetttt….." Alice said spookily, Emmett turned around,

"Aww god," He ran as fast as he could. Suddenly Alice stopped, Emmett stopped too.

_Why have they stopped _**Rosalie**

_Why did Alice go all angry then just stop?! _**Jasper**

"Guys, false alarm. I can see again!" She started jumping up and down. "yeaaah wooh---" She stopped. "HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP! I'M BLINDED AGAIN!" She sank down. "Nooooo. Actually no wait…I can see again. My bad" With that she walked off and made her way back to her desk. Ignoring the broken desks and chairs around her.

**MikePOV**

So that's PMSing Superheroes…

**REIVEW REVIEW REVIEW FAVE CHAPPY?! WHAT NEXT EDWARD CRAZY?! ROSALIE?! MIKE?! TELL ME REVIEW ALL REVIEWERS FROM NOW TO 100 THE REVIEW NEXT CHAPTER DEDICATED TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!! REVIEW ERVIEW**


	8. Chess & Prank on Mike

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT I NEVER WILL ALL BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER**

**Chapter 8**

**Dedicated to: M.G Christiani**

**jamstar4eva**

**musycluver2011 [i will do your idea in the next chappy]**

**amber aka alice [special thanks for reviewing literally ALL my stories!]**

After Alice got over her whole losing her eyesight. We all sat down in our desk. Alice slumped into her desk.

_Wow, this is awkward _**Mike**

_I am soo glad I have my eyesight back _**Alice**

"Do you want to play chess Emmett?" I asked. He nodded.

"Wait, only if I get Alice on my team," I nodded, Alice winked at me. We began playing. Emmett whispered in Alice's ear she nodded,

_Laaadeedaaade dummmm tee daaa _**Emmett**

_Bishop take your queen _**Alice**

I nodded, and moved my queen. The game went like this the whole time. Emmett's face looked concentrated. He was focusing really hard.

_I WILL BEAT HIM! _**Emmett **

5 MINUTES LATER…

"Check mate" I said simply. Emmett's eyes went wide.

"WHAT?!" He screamed.

"Check mate" I said. Emmett look like he was going to cry. Emmett stood up and slammed the chess bored into the wall.

"ARGGGH!!!" He shouted. All the chess pieces broke into pieces on the wall. Alice smiled.

"Em, it's too late, I have already taken a picture," She said smugly. I looked around. Bella, Mike and the others had taken cover. Alice started laughing and mouthed 'Good one' to me. Emmett glared at Alice.

_Did she just wink at Edward…Ohhhh they did not cheat! _**Emmett**

_I think he is on to us _**Alice**

_I love you mom I love you mom I love you mom Please don't let me die. _**Mike**

"He is," I said aloud. Emmett glared at us.

"GUYS, OH NOOOOO YOU DIDN'TT" Emmett said. He gasped. "GUY'S YOU CHEATEDDDDD. GOD PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T CHEAT!" Emmett begged.

"We- I mean he didn't cheat." Alice said. I nodded,

"BUT YOU DIDD" Emmett said.

"Well, you said not to sa---" I started.

"YOU GUYS….YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GUYSS….

_Here comes the swear words. _**Alice**

…SUCK!" Everyone stared at him.

"We suck?!" I asked astonished. He nodded, "Okaaay then, moving on." Mr Banner came crashing in.

"GUYS WHAT IS ALL THE NOISE?!" He screamed. We all looked at each other.

"ummm--" I started, Emmett interrupted me.

"FOR GOD SAKE MR BANNER! YOU ALWAYS COME AT THE WRONG TIME.! OH EMM GEE!" Emmett shouted. Mr Banner looked taken aback. "I MEAN JEEZ, SOME PRIVACY! WE ARE TEENAGERS, WE NEED SPACE! AND ANYWAY LOOK PRESENTABLE! HAVE YOU BEEN MAULED BY A BEAR OR SOMETHING?!" Emmett said, continuing his rant. He nodded,

_I guess Mrs Smith can sometimes be similar to a bear. Rough and tough _**Mr Banner**

"Well, excuse me, this is my classroom." Mr Banner declared.

"ma mar me mar ma mar mar!" Emmett mimicked. Mr Banner looked down, embarrassed. I zoned out. Mr Banner walked over to his desk. He sat down. He jumped back up.

"Ants in your pants?" Emmett said. Mr Banner shook his head, and held up something,

"It's a bishop," He said. " And may I ask why there is remnants of chess pieces across my shiny floor,"

"WHY DO YOU TEACH SO BADLY?!" Emmett retorted. Emmett ran up at human speed.

"HE SURVIVED. I KNEW SOMEONE HAD SURVIVED FROM MY TEAM!" Emmett shouted. I looked at the piece,

"umm, Emmett that's a white piece, that is my team colour" I said. Emmett glared at me.

"URGHHHHH," he said as he chucked it against the wall, It smashed into pieces.

"But, Emmett, you can claim it as yours…"I said. Emmett came and towered over me,

"IT'S A BIT LATE NOW!" Emmett shouted. He started to come and approach me.

"Fight, Fight, Fight," Mike chanted

_I hope Cullen breaks his collar bone _**Mike**

I turned to face him, "Which one Mike, there is two of us," I said smiling. Mike blushed.

"I am just going to step out now…" Mr Banner said whilst running out.

"FINE VALUE YOUR LIVES MORE THAN OTHERS!" Emmett screamed down the corridors. We all sat down in our seats. I started fiddling with Bella's hair. Mike had fallen asleep once again.

BPOV

"Immm bored," Emmett whined, everyone sighed.

"EMMETT, WE KNOW!" Everyone shouted. Rosalie shook her head.

"Emmett, we know okay, it will be no different than TWO BLOODY SECONDS AGO!" She shouted. Mike did not stir. I 'ssshed' everyone.

"Guys, why don't we play a prank on Newton." Edward suggested. Everyone cheered.

"Umm, guys I'm not so sure." I said, everyone turned to look at me

"Bella, don't you want to get back at the guy who always flirts, stalks and pervs over you?" Emmett said,

"Yeah—but." I started. Edward interrupted me.

"Bella, if you love me, you will do it," Edward said, pouting. Emmett sighed.

"Aww great no she won't do it!" Emmett joked. I laughed, and nodded, Edward kissed me,

"Thank you," I smiled at him, we started to plan what we would do. We silently walked up to his lying figure, grabbed a scissors, I started cutting his outfit. I then back away.

"Done," I whispered, Emmett stepped forward next, he had a marker pen in his hand. He began drawing on Mike's face,

"Wow, Emmett, good job, that monobrow looks SO real," Alice squealed.

" I didn't draw that, that's real!" Emmett said, laughing. "Phase two Guys," Emmett ordered, me and Edward got in positions,

"Edward, I just don't love you anymore," I said with no emotion. Edward still looked hurt, although it was fake. Mike's eyes went wide,

"WHAT?! DID I JUST HER THAT?!" Mike screamed. Emmett ran over to him,

"Mike, Bella is breaking up with Edward, SHUT UP," He demanded, Mike immediately shut up, but began doing a happy dance, chanting

_Edward got dumped by Bella_

_He really Smell-a_

_I am so happy I get the girl._

_Come one mike do a twirl,_

He started doing twirls. I started walking away. Edward grabbed onto my leg.

"Edward let go…" Mike came over.

"Yeah man, back off" He tried to say threateningly, key word being** tried. **

"Shut up Newton But Bella why?" Edward said. I looked over to Mike,

"I now know I love Mike," I tried my hardest to say with a straight face. I managed it. Just. Edward frowned,

"Him, I am being replaced by him?" Edward said astonished. I nodded and walked to Mike's side. I could see it still pained Edward. I linked arms with Mike, MAN I need to introduce him to shampoo and shower.

"Mike, do you love me?" I asked. He nodded, "REALLY?!"

"YES!!!" He shouted. I smiled,

"Okay then, put them knickers and bra on," I pointed over, he hovered.

"Edward I want you bac--" Mike speedily ran over to the bucket and put on a bra and knickers. I stifled my laughter.

"Mike, come here," I grabbed his hand and we ran to the hall backstage. We were behind the curtains, I shoved him out,

"OH BY THE WAY MIKE IT'S INDUCTION DAY!!!" I said, shouting over the voices millions of people. Mike blushed, he began running off the stage. I glared at him,

"I'm going," He mumbled.

"STRUT YOUR STUFF MIKE!" I shouted.

"SHOW US SOME ASS MIKE," Emmett shouted. Mike blushed further. Everyone was laughing.

"YOUR JUST JEALOUS I HAVE BELLA!" He shouted. Well not for long you don't I muttered. I walked onto the stage, with a bucket off water. I chucked it over him.

"MIKE WE ARE THROUGH!" I shouted, he squealed like a girl. I walked up to Edward and kissed him passionately. Edward broke the kiss,

"Mike, they go see thru," Edward said with a wink. Mike didn't care he was on the floor in tears,

"Bella, I THOUGHT OUR LOVE WAS PURE?!" I looked at him.

"Mike, no lie. It was *cough* not *cough* but then it went UNpure," I said soothingly,

"So when did you stop loving me?" He asked. I thought needlessly.

"About a day before i met you." I said matter-of-a-factly. He looked sad.

"So me following you around you and stalking you was pointlessly?" he asked. I nodded, "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Everyone looked at him,

"I HAVE FOR 15 BLOODY YEARS"

"You haven't known me that long" I stuck my middle finger up at him.

"MIKE WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A LIMPET?!" [**A/N means stalker]**

"What does that mean, i am not a walking dictionary?!" He said, He got out a pocket dictionary. He started flipping threw the pages. I sighed. With that i walked off the stage.

MPOV

Great I had just been humiliated infront of millions of people. I started walking back to the detention room. A little girl came up to me,

"WHAT THE HELL IS GROWING ON YOUR EYEBROW?!" She screamed.

"It's a monobrow!" I snapped back. She made a look of disgust, "Well your sideburns aren't that cool either!" I shouted, she turned around,

"I'd rather that than a hairy slug over my eye!" She retorted. I gave her the finger and walked off. As I walked through the corridors I saw a smart, posh business man with his daughter. He looked at me up and down, and smiled. So 50 year old men find me attractive but yet with Bella, she don't it's RIDICULOUS!

"They have half naked men at this school?! We are going here dad!" The child screamed. The dad nodded,

"I agree." He said, giving me a weird look. I fake smiled back.

**Sparkly-Vampire-Wannabe hope you like the prank on Mike!**

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	9. Ugly Rosalie

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight.**

**Chapter 9**

**EPOV**

We all ran back to the classroom laughing.

_I can't believe that old man! _**Mike**

"Guys quick, Mike's coming back." I said. Emmett quickly placed the tape in his desk. Mike entered through the door. Everyone burst out laughing, forgetting how ridiculous he looked in lady undergarments.

"Wow Mike, loving them over shoulder boulder holders!" Emmett exclaimed. Mike smiled.

"Well, thank you--" Mike went silent thinking for a minute, "Wait a minute! Shut up Emmett!" He shouted.

"Make me, Frog boy." Emmett retorted

_That was such a good nickname Newton. Frog. Newt _**Emmett**

"Bring it on, I will think of a name for you later, but bring it." Mike threatened. He got up and started coming over to Emmett. Everyone was holding their breath, wondering what Mike would do.

_I look like a hard rebel! Keep going Michael Montgomery Newton_ **Mike**

Mike made his way to Emmett. Fist in air.

*CRASH*

Mike struggled on the floor, surrounded by fallen chairs.

_Wow Mike can't walk in a straight line without tripping _**Alice**

Mike got up. Straightening out his hair.

"Wow Mike you look like a---" Jasper started. He was interrupted by a loud, scream. Everyone's face turned to Rosalie,

"Nice to know you joined us Rose." Emmett joked. Rosalie scowled.

"What's up Rose?" Jasper said soothingly.

_At least Jasper is nice to me. In my crisis. _**Rosalie **

_I married this person. _**Emmett**

_I love my mum _**Mike**

I gave Mike a weird look.

"Please, Rose. Don't hurry up with the answer." Emmett joked. All that was her answer was a scream.

"I'm sorry Rosalie, we can not speak scream language. So could you English it up?" Mike joked,

"SHUT UP MIKE!" Rosalie shouted. Mike backed off and nodded.

"Silent as a mouse," He whispered. Rosalie nodded,

"Well at least she still thinks Mike is an idiot, so she IS sane," Emmett joked. Rosalie screamed again.

"And screamsalot is back." Mike said.

"Mike that is not a mouse!" Emmett shouted. Mike sat down in his chair, but fell over in the process, landing on the hard floor with a satisfactory thump.

"I'm okay. Don't worry." Mike said. Emmett shook his head.

"We weren't don't worry." He replied. Rosalie screamed again.

"For gods sake Rose, what the hell is wrong with you?!" Rosalie glared at Bella.

"I will tell you what is wrong---" Bella interrupted.

"Hey Emmett asked you. Look at Emmett, not me, the eyes. They burn!" She exclaimed. At this I had to laugh.

"ignoring that. My prettiness has gone I AM NOW UGLY LOOK AT ME!" She screamed.

_Finally after 80 years she learns she is U-G-L-Y _**Alice**

"No Rose, you aren--" Emmett started. Rosalie interrupted.

"Are you helping Emmett!" She asked rhetorically.

"I should hope so," He replied.

"NOOOOO your not!" She shouted. Rosalie then stormed off into the corner, hiding her face. Emmett walked over to her, mouthing 'wish me luck' we all nodded.

"Rose babes, Let me see your beautiful face." Emmett said soothingly. Rosalie looked at Emmett, with a deathly glare.

"Are you mocking me Emmett!" She replied, with venom. Emmett stepped back.

"NO I'm not." Emmett said unevenly. He got up and stumbled over to us.

"MY BEST FRIEND SAYS I AM UGLY!" Rosalie shouts. Alice looked surprised.

"No I didn't Ro--" Alice began to say./

"YOU AREN'T MY BEST FRIEND. I MEANT THAT MIRROR." She said pointing to it. "It's permanently there! To mock me!" Rosalie got up and started walking into the store cupboard.

_Maybe I should go comfort her. _**Alice **

I started shaking my head vigorously. She ignored me and went in. I hear a scream. We all looked at each other.

"Maybe, they are talking about clothes." Emmett stated. Everyone looked at him pointedly.

_And that's what you get for lightening the mood. _**Emmett**

I let out a chuckle. I heard a thud and break of glass. Alice then came stumbling out. Her clothes were ripped, and she was covered with red and green paint. Her hair was a mess.

"So Alice, how did it go?" Emmett asked innocently. Emmett glared at her.

"Perfect." She said sarcastically. Mike didn't realise the sarcasm.

_Explosion in the paint factory! _**Emmett**

"Why are you covered in blood and boogies then?" Mike asked.

"Mike, if you weren't human I would SLAP you so hard." Alice snarled.

"But aren't you human?" Mike asked, scared.

_What the hell is she saying? _**Jasper**

_If she says vampire! I will kill her. _**Emmett**

Even Emmett not's stupid enough to admit our secret. Actually. Yes he is.

"Mike, I have told you, I am Catwoman." Alice said. Me, Emmett and Jasper let out our unneeded breath.

_I wouldn't really tell _**Alice**

"Oh Yeah, Sorry," Mike apologised.

"HELLO MY CRISIS NOT ALICE'S!" Rosalie shouted from the room. Everyone immediately looked at each other. Mike got up,

"I will see if she can try to resist the Mike charm," Mike said, winking, Emmett immediately yanked down Mike,

"She's my girlfriend, dude I will go to her." He said firmly. He got up and started walking towards the door. He then came running back.

"I can't do it! She is scary." He whined.

"It's okay, Em," Alice said soothingly. Mike stood up.

"It's Mike time." Mike said, making his way to the door.

"GUYS IF YOU SEND MIKE IN I WILL SHOOT HIM!" Rosalie shouted.

"She's joking right." We were all about to nod, we then heard a cocking of a gun. Emmett's eyes narrowed.

_I knew she took one of my guns_ **Emmett**

"What do you mean she took ONE of your guns, you have more than one?!" I exclaimed to Emmett.

"Oh yeah that was me, I got bored because Jasper just kept dodging the bullets, I gave it to Rosalie." Alice answered.

"YOU--" We were interrupted by the door crashing open. Mr Banner appeared. Emmett glared at him. Mr Banner sat down at his desk, ruffling his paper and arranging his pens.

"Pretend I I'm not here"

"WE WOULD, if you weren't arranging your pens in alphabetical order," Emmett shouted. Mr Banner looked startled.

"It's colour co-ordination, just pretend I am not here, I will be silent," Mr Banner promised. Emmett nodded in agreement.

"So back to what we we--" We were interrupted by a farting noise.

"Emmett, stop being childish." I scolded. Emmett shook his head.

"It was him," Emmett said, staring at Mr Banner.

"Sorry, beans," Mr Banner apologised. "Please carry on," We sat in silence. "Oh, you want me to go," He said, getting up,

"YOU THINK," Emmett exclaimed. Mr Banner walked out. "And that's why I keep guns…" Emmett said softly.

"But Alice, you gave Rosalie Flipping Hale a GUN?! That's suicide" I said. Alice shrugged.

"Why did you need a gun anyway?!" Emmett asked. Alice winked. "oooh,nice" Mike looked confused.

"So Mike, in you go," I said. Mike looked at me,

"But she will shoot me!" Mike said nervously. I nodded,

"We know," We all said to him. Mike nervously went in.

"ahhhhhhhhhhhh I'm too young to die, spare my life! Rosalie Please!" He shouted.

"Err. Mike your in the wrong closet!" I informed him.

_Well what's this thing her that just hit me? Oh a broom. _**Mike **

Mike came out,

"I know." He said. We all looked at him,

"What's that around your eye?" Jasper asked.

"Black eye. I bruise like a peach," Mike whimpered. We all laughed. He then entered the right room.

MPOV.

Shaking I enter the devil's lair. I heard a laughter in the background.

"Hey Rosalie," I said quietly.

"Mike, you don't know how I feel. A mirror. My best friend tells me or shows me I am ugly! You don't know how it feels to be ugly." She said. She then looked up I smiled. "Actually maybe you do," She replied. "Come sit, and mourn with me."

"Rosalie, maybe if you weren't so vain--" I started. I was interrupted.

"Mike, I just invited you to sit next to the hottest girl in the whole school and you are mean?" Rosalie says.

"Well I didn't say no. I will sit down. And Bella is the hottest" I started but decided not to finish.

"Mike, I have a gun," She warned pointing it to my head. I held my hands up,

"Take out the bullets in the guns!" I demanded.

"That's a waste I know what to do." A evil smile formed on her face. "Oh Bella,"

"NOOO ROSE!" I shouted. She looked down.

"Party pooper," She muttered,

"Some might also say. Life saver! Now shoot the bullets" I commanded. She pointed it at me, "Out the window!" I said quickly. She obediently started shooting out the window. We heard faint cries. I cringed at the thought.

**E****POV**

"Well, Mike's dead." I said. Everyone's face was speechless.

_I married a murderer! _**Emmett**

"When do you think we should tell her we replaced her mirror with a painting of the demented lady from Burger King?" Jasper said

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	10. Randomness

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own twilight. I have learnt that! :( **

**I know this chapter isn't that funny, and seems rather rushed. But PLEASE don't flame!!!!!!!!!!! **

**Chapter 10**

_**EPOV**_

"_Well, Mike's dead." I said. Everyone's face was speechless._

_I married a murderer! __**Emmett**_

"_When do you think we should tell her we replaced her mirror with a painting of the demented lady from Burger King?" Jasper said_

EdawardPOV

We all laughed,

"Jasper I suggest you tell her now before she wrecks the classroom," I advised. Emmett nodded,

"Yeah I advise you to do that too," Emmett repeated. I looked at Emmett

"Emmett just repeating the smart stuff I say does not make you sound clever, in fact it makes you seem dumb by the fact you can't form your own sentences," I informed. Emmett looked at me confused.

"Can you dumb it down for me Eddie," Emmett asked. I sighed.

"YOU ARE DUMB!" I shouted.

"So yeah, Jasper you should tell Rosalie, the CRUEL, mean, despicable prank you played on her," Alice said. I stifled my laugh with my hand. Jasper stared at Alice

"I love you too Alice, nice to know you support me at this difficult time in my life." Jasper muttered. Alice walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder, Jasper looked at her, hoping that she was going to go with him,

"Good Luck, love you" Alice said. Jasper growled.

"Whatever, bitch," He muttered, forgetting Alice could hear. He started walking towards Rosalie, A vase broke over his head.

"Alice?" Jasper asked in surprise. Alice glared at him,

"You called me a f**ing Bitch!" She shouted.

_I just lost the sex tonight _**Jasper**

_This detention better be over by 9pm tonight. I mean I can't miss Emmerdale. _**Mike**

"I didn't call you a f**king bitch, Alice Baby, maybe a bitch but not a _f**king_ bitch! " Jasper said smoothly.

"Same thing!" Alice accused. "Walk," She said pointing to Rosalie. Jasper shook his head.

"But Alice babe! Bitch means dog. Dogs bark. Barks on trees. Trees are nature. Nature is beautiful. So technically, I am calling you beaut--" Jasper tried to worm his way out of it, Alice interrupted him.

"Walk, Jasper Hale!" She shouted pointing to Rosalie, who was looking in the 'mirror' looking disguted.

_Worth a shot, although I probably won't be getting it for weeks. _**Jasper**

"Make that months Jazzsquare," I teased. Jasper growled and slowly walked to Rosalie.

"Jasper," Emmett called, Jasper looked back, hoping for encouragement.

"Say hi to Rosalie for me," He said with a smile. We all laughed. He finally reached Rosalie.

"My heart goes out to him," Bella muttered.

"Mine doesn't," Emmett joked. We all laughed.

"Shhh! My delicate ears cannot hear the intriguing conversation happening." Mike whined. Everyone rolled there eyes.

_I swear it is past his bedtime! Shouldn't his mother come get him? _**Alice**

_I'm surprised that he couldn't hear. With him having such big ears. _**Emmett**

Everyone still shut up to listen

_I feel such power now. People obeying my commands _**Mike **

I looked over to Jasper and Rosalie he only just got the courage to alert Rosalie.

"So umm Rose about your ugli--" Jasper started. Rose turned to glare, she reached out and smashed a glass over his head.

"Jasper, as much as your ugliness comforts me into not being the ugliest here, right now I am pissed." Jasper ran back over to us.

"She didn't really want to talk." Jasper stated. Everyone laughed.

"Bahaawahaaaahoo" Mike laughed. Everyone stoped laughing and looked at him.

"Mike, a normal laugh, would be appropriate here." I said calmly. Mike blushed.

"Well umm, how come your not bleeding? She hit you with a glass. Aren't you bleeding or anything?" Mike questioned.

_Oh I forgot Mike being human. _**Alice**

"Oh umm, it's that sugarglass they use in movies." Emmett said. Making a poor excuse.

_What the hell?! _**Jasper**

_Not to self. When Emmett's mouth opens, make believe shit is likely to come out of it _**Alice**

"Sugar glass? Why would that be here?" Mike asked. Emmett please don't say anything, I begged.

"Umm, The Harry potter prop makers got lost on the way to Hogwarts." Emmett said.

_It just keeps getting worse _**Alice**

"No, what Emmett means is I am not bleeding physically. But I am bleeding emotionally. DO YOU HEAR ME ROSE?!" Jasper said raising his voice so she could hear.

"Mike, where did you put that gun?" Rosalie asked sweetly.

"Excuse me for a minute," I said.

"Where you going Eddie?" Emmett asked.

"Toilet," I said smiling bitterly. I walked out the room. I just had to ger out. The unnegative vibe being given out was too much.

**BPOV**

"Hey guys shall we prank Eddykinz?" Emmett suggested. Eddykinz, I might just pick up on that nickname. Everyone nodded,

"Yeah let's," I said, a bit too enthusiastic.

"Any ideas?" Emmett asked openly. Mike jumped up.

"Oh me, pick me, I have one! PICK ME, me oh me," Mike said desperately. Emmett ignored him.

"Any ideas?" Emmett asked again. Mike kept jumping. "Okay, Mike what's your idea," Emmett asked. Mike smiled.

"Well, umm soo, it is amazing. Um. When he walks in. We shout Boo!" He said excitedly.

"That's a really good idea," Emmett said. I looked at him. Mike smiled. "If Edward was a 5 year old!" Emmett finished. We all laughed.

" So with a proper prank. Okay, when it is 7 oclock EXACTLY! Everyone think of nothing," Emmett commanded Emmett stared at me. I looked back at him confused.

"How do you think of nothing?" Mike asked. "It's impossible,"

"Okay, Mike think of what you normally think of." I said. He nodded,

Edward soon entered. I looked at the clock it was on the way to 7. I looked at everyone. Everyone soon stopped thinking. I could see the blank looks on their faces. Mike looked deep in thought, I glared at him, he then looked at the clock.

"Oh I thought that was the little hand!" I rolled my eyes. I looked like I was thinking. Which I do on a daily basis. But fail.

**[Sorry for the change of POVS] **

**EPOV**

Emmett looked like he was thinking "Edward why aren't you infuriated by my thoughts?" He asked. I then looked at his thoughts.

"I don't see any," I replied.

"No change there then," Bella joked.

"What? I am thinking of some rather disturbing thoughts." He said smiling. " I am imagining Bella being a stripper." Emmett said laughing to himself. Emmett looked around. I leapt at him. Jasper blocked the way and shoved me back, I crashed into the bookshelf. Mike looked in awe.

"You guys really are the Fantastic Five!" He said

"Plus two Mike, don't forget the plus two bit!" Alice said sternly. Mike nodded. I growled at Emmett. Bella grabbed my hand. I immediately calmed down.

"How did you know I was thinking of Bella?" Emmett asked. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You said," I replied, through gritted teeth, Emmett slapped his mouth,

"Oopsie, my mouth sometimes moves on it's own accord," Emmett apologised.

"Did she look hot?" I asked. Knowing it was rather out of question of me.

"Totaly," Emmett agreed. I nodded, Bella looked up to me and waved.

"Helooo, I am here!" She said, I patted her head.

"I know, sweetheart," I then realised what had happened. I couldn't hear thoughts. I let out a scream, which I admit was rather feminine.

"Bella what's wrong?" Emmett said to Bella.

"I SCREAMED!" I shouted. Everyone looked at me.

"Wow, you screamed like a girl," Emmett said. I stared at him. "But that's not relevant at the moment. What's wrong?" Emmett redeemed.

"Well my mind has gone silent!" I whined. Emmett shrugged.

"Happens to me all the time!" Emmett said. Everyone laughed.

"I mean, I can't hear anything! It's like my power is gone! Now I am like you lot, powerless and dumb, no offence" I whined, wiping an imaginary tear from my eye.

"Offence taken! So, in other words, you can't read minds anymore?" Emmett said, I nodded,

"You forgot the insult bit," I added. Emmett rolled his eyes. "I AM BLINDEDD!" I shouted. Mike walked over and wrapped his arms around me,

"As you have said before, don't worry it will be alright," He said smoothly.

"Well YOU won't be if you don't remove your arm from my shoulder." I growled, he immediately moved it.

"Well I know how you can get it back trust me, come with me," Emmett waved, we walked out the room. He shut the door,

"So, what can I help you with?" Emmett said. I looked at him,

"Emmett, you dragged me out here," I said, confused.

"Sorry, it just makes me seem smart if you ask," Emmett said. I sighed. "Sorry, so here is a list of what will make you get your power back" Emmett said. He handed me a piece of paper, his writing was scribbled.

"Emmett are you sure you wrote this? It looks like a blind 5 year old wrote it," I said.

"All I want to do in this world is to make peace and help people, it just makes me all emotional when people question my intelligence," Emmett said wiping imaginary tears away. I rolled my eyes. "So first, you need to put this on," Emmett said handing a piece of clothing. I shook my head.

**BPOV**

Edward and Emmett had been rather long. I looked around,

"Where is Rosalie?" I questioned. Everyone shrugged.

"Oh, her, I think I might know," Mike said pointing to the window, it was smashed. " She obviously just couldn't handle it,"

"It's probably the pressure of entairtaining, it gets me too," Mike said. Everyone stared at him, but decided not to comment back. We heard a massive crash. We looked at the door, we heard distance voices.

"Emmett, are you sure this would work?!" I heard Edward say.

"Yes, now go in!" Edward then smashed through the door. Everyone laughed when they saw what he was wearing. He was wearing a pink fairy outfit and a wand with a star on it.

Mike looked speechlessly.

"Did you break into my house? I have that exact outfit!" Mike said, everyone looked at him. "What i only wear it on SPECIAL occasions," He just keeps digging himself deeper

"Emmett, I still can't read minds. I'm going to get change," Edward growled. Emmett shook his head.

"No, Edward you haven't done what the paper asked REMEMBER," Emmett hinted. Edward looked down,

"Fine, whatever. Wait why has Alice got a camcorder?" Edward asked.

"Well, I thought it would be obvious. That's not a camcorder it's a-a" Emmett didn't know what to say, he looked around. His eyes stopped on a lamp. Oh no, he wouldn't do that. "It's a lamp," Oh yes he would. I sighed.

"A lamp? That's not a lamp. It looks nothing like a lamp!" Edward argued. Emmett looked at me nervously for help.

"That's umm because it's from the future. Doctor Who stopped by for Tea yesterday, and Emmett nicked his blue box thing," I said shrugging.

"He went to the future to get a lamp?" Edward asked. I nodded,

"It's Emmett after all," Edward nodded,

"Okaay, so umm yeah now I will do the thing," Edward said. He put his hands above his head and turned around three times. He then stopped and twirled his wand. He then ran out the door. Alice ran and taped him. I could hear his booming voice

"I AM A WOMEN HEAR ME ROAR!" He shouted **[Thanks for the review with that idea!] **I looked at everyone. Edward then came running in.

"I now present to you the fairy dance!" He said, beginning to dance. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath. He stopped dancing. Emmett then made his way over to the stereo, he placed in a CD and pressed PLAY. Soulja Boy came on.

"Aww hell no," Edward muttered. Emmett nodded and grinned. Edward started dancing. I mean, a 6foot scary invincible handsome vampire in a fairy outfit doing the Soulja Boy dance REALLY wrong is just funny!

"So Edward, can you read minds again?" Emmett asked. Edward shook his head. "Okay come with me," Edward was yet again dragged out the room.

10 MINUTES LATER…

Emmett walked in.

"Okay introducing Edwardina!" He declared. Edward stumbled in, he was now wearing cheerleading outfit. With pink Pom Poms, his short hair was pulled into bunches. Edward started doing highschool dancing. Include the splits. He jumped on the desk. It immediately broke in half. Poor Edward he was trying so hard to cut down on the lion meat. Edward stopped.

"Emmett I have a feeling you don't actually know what is wrong with me!" Edward whined.

"What would make you think that?" Emmett said faking innocence. Edward slit his eyes.

"I feel used," He whispered

"So yeah, everyone stop. You can think about something," Emmett said. Everyone then started thinking about something. Edward squealed and jumped up and down.

"YEY I have my power back YEY, I mean cool," Edward said, trying to sound manly. "Well I am going to go over there and beat up that plant. Maybe that is how I can gain back my guy points that i lost."

"Give me a 'Y' Give me a 'E' Give me a 'S' Give me another 'E'!" Emmett shouted. "What does that spell?" He asked i thought in my head. I couldn't quite make a word out of it. Emmett realised no one knew. "And people call me dumb, it spells YES!" He shouted. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Wow Emmett, you make a better cheerleader than Edward!" Alice joked. There was a knock at the door. I looked around the room was a mess. Emmett went up to the door, and opened it slightly, I could see it was Mr Banner.

"Umm, I was wondering what the noise was," Mr Banner said. Emmett glared at him.

"Nice to know," He then shut the door in Mr Banner's face and locked it. Mr Banner started banging on the door. Emmett walked over to the stereo and put in a new CD Las Ketchup started playing. Emmett started dancing to it. Rosalie walked up to Emmett, he then turned down the music down,

"Guys GREAT NEWS. I realised the mirror, wasn't a mirror, but a picture of the demented lady who works in Burger King!" She said pleased with herself. She really was Sherlock Holmes! I thought sarcastically. Mr Banner stormed in, breaking the door.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY WIFE?!"

**So Mr Banner is married to the demented lady from BK!!!! And is also having a affair with that teacher mentioned it earlier chapters :P**

**This chapter is pretty crap :D PLEASE don't flame!**

**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST! I think. GIVE ME IDEAS. MAJOR WRITERSBLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!1111 HELP**

**10 reviews?**


	11. Mr Banner's Wife

**DISCALIMER: I don't own ttwilight. Stephenie Meyer does**

***sad face* I will eventually have my name in the books! I do. But that's just my name tag :) I WILL RULE THE WORLD OF TWILIGHT ONEEE DAY…hopefully in the near future :)**

**I know I haven't updated in EXACTLY A MONTH! But please still read :)**

**Last Chapter :(**

**Thanks to all my supporters! And who reviewed!**

"_Umm, I was wondering what the noise was," Mr Banner said. Emmett glared at him._

"_Nice to know," He then shut the door in Mr Banner's face and locked it. Mr Banner started banging on the door. Emmett walked over to the stereo and put in a new CD Las Ketchup started playing. Emmett started dancing to it. Rosalie walked up to Emmett, he then turned down the music down,_

"_Guys GREAT NEWS. I realised the mirror, wasn't a mirror, but a picture of the demented lady who works in Burger King!" She said pleased with herself. She really was Sherlock Holmes! I thought sarcastically. Mr Banner stormed in, breaking the door._

"_WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY WIFE?!"_

We all looked nervously around. I couldn't help laughing at the fact Mr Banner was married to the weird lady at Burger King.

_I can't believe Mr Banner found someone UGLIER than him! At least he doesn't feel like the unbalanced one in the marriage _**Emmett**

_No wonder he looks like crap every morning, I should give his wife some tips on beauty _**Rosalie**

_Now I have seen everything, a bit too much if you ask me I mean she could of worn a more covering top in the picture! Whereas Bella… _**Mike**

Mike said trailing off I stared at him I 'accidently' threw a heavy book at him.

"OWW what was that for?!" Mike said surprised.

"For being a dick," I replied simply. Mike growled at me, but sounded more like a strangled scream

_And THAT is why Mike is not a vampire _**Emmett**

"Sorry to interrupt this interesting conversation but can we get back on subject?" Mr Banner said impatiently jumping up and down.

"Come again?" Bella said.

"My wife? And can we keep it quick because my little mate down there needs to release it." He said.

_Is that the posh way of saying he needs to piss? _**Emmett**

"I recall you starting this conversation and we can take however long we like!" Emmett said. Mr Banner immediately stopped talking.

"Umm, you can take your time." Mr Banner said calmly. Emmett nodded.

"I should think sooo!" Rosalie said.

5 MINUTES LATER…

"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! PLEASE CAN WE GET BACK TO IT!" Mr Banner shouted. Emmett glared at him. "Don't give me that look! Just because you have massive arms, a buff body, great strength, weird eyes, luscious lips…." He said trailing off.

"The point Mr Spanner?" Rosalie asked. Emmett put his arm in front of Rosalie..

"Let him finish," Emmett said.

"Emmett, get over it you have a average body and well…although he looks it he aint that great in bed," Rosalie said whispering the last bit. Emmett gasped.

_Oh well then I can forget about luring him into my house then _**Mr Banner**

I winced. Yuck, he is working his way through the family!

"But Rosieee, you said I was good!" Emmett whined.

"Well, I have to say that didn't I?" Rosalie said. "I mean I don't want you whining, I have to live with you for a eternity!" Rosalie pointed out. Mr Banner and Mike looked at Rosalie strange.

"An eternity?" Mike questioned.

_Aww man I forgot _**Rosalie**

"Well you know how stupid I am, a day seems like a eternity with me…" Emmett cleverly said. Emmett then slapped his forehead. "Ow," He said to make what he said believable. Mike nodded.

"You have slept with someone Emmett? High Five!" Mike shouted, putting his hand in the air. Emmett just stared at him. "Gunna leave me hanging?" Mike said. Emmett nodded.

"That is exactly what I am going to do," Emmett said. "You slept with Jessica Mike," Emmett pointed out. Mike looked down.

"Well um you see when I said that. I was telling a little lie…We umm didn't she just beat me up" Mike admitted.

"I knew it! So the bruises weren't from her grip…but from a punch by a girl," Jasper said laughing.

"What is said in here must be kept in here," Mike said. Alice looked up and smiled.

"Wellll, them rules apply for sleepovers, and I don't see any sleeping bags soooo," She started skipping out the room.

5 MINUTES LATER…

"Yeah it's after school hours, no one is in, apart from the janitor but he is deaf so THAT wouldn't work." Alice said returning to Jasper's arms.

"So hellooooo, can we get back on track about my wife?" Mr Banner said, I swear he shivered.

"Ohhh well we were saying how beautiful she is, and to appreciate that we were saying negative things so we felt good about our appearences," Emmett said. Mr Banner looked at us.

"Guys, do you think I don't know how ugly she is? Why do you think I have my bit on the side, you know Felulah? Do you kno w how it feels to wake up every morning with a ugly face next to you?!" Mr Banner started Mike interrupted him unintentionally.

"Yes," Everyone then looked at him. "Oh yeah my mum, she is not a pretty site." Mike said. Everyone's eyes went wide.

"YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR MUM?!" Jasper shouted laughing. Mike nodded

"We are not rich okay we could only afford one bed. Mr Banner please carry on talking," Mike said embarrassed.

"Oh okay, well every morning when I wake up extra early and come to school, so I avoid the goodbye kiss. She thinks a good night is me shaving her beard. I mean Come ONNNN that is NOTTT sexy!" Mr Banner ranted.

_So he is willing to have sex with her. But not kiss her?_ **Mike**

"Hey Rosie Baby, how about you shave my beard tonight?" Emmett joked. Rosalie looked close.

"Shave what? You don't have one hair on your chin!" Rosalie retorted. Emmett frowned.

"Holy Bananas I was just kidding don't take it so seriously jeez my knees!" Emmett defended. Rosalie stuck her tongue at him. "Don't stick your tongue out at me! Keep it in your mouth!" Emmett said.

"Well that's funny, when we are kissing I'm sure you prefer it out my mouth and down your throat!" Rosalie retorded **[A/N bad mental image :) Happy dreaming]**

_Ewww Tounge Rape! _**Mike**

Emmett folded his arms.

"Well anyway back to me! As you can see my wife is far from…" He stopped mid sentence and breathed in. "can you smell that?" Everyone smelt.

"What?" Everyone asked, unsure on what we were meant to smell.

"Pee," Mr Banner said. Mike blushed

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer." Mr Banner shook his head.

"No it's too strong, it's pee and garbage. Oh did I tell you every Friday night my wife goes garbage ravaging?" Mr Banner said. Everyone looked at each other.

"It's his wife HIDEEEE," Emmett shouted everyone jumped and hid. The door opened. Bella was squished against my chest.

"Peterrrrr. Oh Peter darling. Want some fun? My beard is getting longerrr," She shouted. I could hear Mr Banner shiver.

"Who's this behind the plant? Are you hiding from me young lad?" She asked. Emmett jumped out, sad he was found.

_And that is why he never wins hide and seek _**Rosalie**

"I wass ummm…watering the plants," Emmett said.

"No, sonny boy it looked like you were hiding to me…" She said.

"Well so is your husband and 6 pupils!" Emmett said, ratting us out. We all got out to show our faces.

_Does she ever look in the mirror? _**Rosalie**

_Gok Wan needed! Or me…I am just as good _**Alice**

_Soo, whose gunna tell her she has banana in her hair? _**Emmett**

"Hey Patricia, sorry I was hiding because we were playing hide and seek." Mr Banner lied. Patricia thought for a bit

"Well if you were all hiding, who was seeking?" She asked.

"Well we didn't think that through…" Mr Banner began to say, but old Einstein Emmett had to butt in.

"YOUUU" He shouted. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"How did you know I was coming?" Patricia asked.

"Well your beautiful scent, you smell of lavenders," Emmett said.

_Dead Lavenders…Rotting in a field…That are over a century old, and bathed in wee, every hour. _**Emmett**

"Oh many people have said that," Patricia said.

_Who?! People that can't smell?! _**Alice**

"So, Love let's go home now," Mr Banner said.

"Okay let me say good bye to all these lovely children, kissesss," Patricia said coming around to all of us. She kissed Emmett, everyone looked horrified

_If Vampires could puke, that is what I would be doing nowww _**Emmett**

_And here comes my lunchhh _**Mike**

She then came and kissed me. Bella laughed. Traitor. I'm sure my blood from yesterday is going to find it's way out of my mouth soon. Even if it is impossible.

The clock struck 7, everyone ran out the door. Making up for the no PDA **[A.N Public display of affection]** rule inside the classroom I turned to Bella, leaning in to kiss her. She screamed.

"I will not kiss your lips until you washed them thoroughly, three times. With soap." Bella said. I sighed. And using my vampire speed kissed her. She scowled at me.

"Ewwww Old lady kiss ewwwwww," She screamed jumping up and down. Mike appeared out of nowhere.

"Bella, my lips haven't been kissed…" Mike suggested.

"And they never will Mike," Bella smirked. Mike frowned. Everyone then started running down the corridors, Mr Banner was running behind us.

"YOU WILL NOT KISS ME WOMEN!" We all laughed.

"I am freeee! No more weird conversations. Or weird ladies." Emmett shouted.

"Hey guys! No running in the corridors! Detention on Monday Evening!" Mr Banner shouted. We all immediately stopped.

"No F**KING WAY" Emmett cursed.

"You mean we have to do all this again?! In three days time?!" Mike said in disbelief.

"Yes, you better make the most of your weekend," Mr Banner said smirking evilly.

**THE END**

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